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Monday, March 29, 2010

Okay, I've done it...

Well, I did it. I finally booked my trip.
At first I was so excited about getting a faculty grant from my school and the adventures I had in mind. Then, after speaking to my mom, my excitement quickly turned into worry.
Now, it's not really my worries - it's her worries that I have taken on.

You see, I live my life in a slightly unconventional way from time to time. I make deals with the Universe (God, Goddess, Creator....Insert the belief that works for here_____). From time to time I wheel and deal and I normally ask for big signals or flashing lights or basically something like an air horn so I KNOW when I have gotten my signal. For example, I once knew it was time to move when I found a red leaf floating down the stream behind my apartment since I had made a pact to relocate when the leaves turns colors - funny thing is that it was July/ almost August - no where near autumn.
Of course, as the universe would have it, it was indeed the perfect time for me to move. I moved just in time to nab one of the best teaching jobs a girl could find. Had I waited any later it would have been GONE and goodness knows what I would have done for work.
So, back to this trip I have now booked. I'm terrified. My Mom has never asked me to not go somewhere. She was fine with me adventuring all alone in South Africa for two months - well, maybe not fine, but not sooooo worried that she asked me to stay put.
This time it's different- she has no idea why she doesn't want me to go to India. She just has a feeling. Ugh...I'd rather her have an aversion to curry. I have lived so much of my life learning to trust my instincts - how do choose between what I think I want to do and the mother of all instincts....the momma!